Crossed Wires
by DarkenedPetals
Summary: Gippal isn't happy with the way Paine looks at his girlfriend. But his anxiety to figure out what's going on in the warrriors mind may lead him to miss bigger secret's happening in the lives of his other friends. Many various pairings... read & find out!
1. Chapter 1

_Hellooo  
I had this idea for a little while so here is a rather quick try at it. I may re-do it later but for now it just had to come out of my brain and onto... well not so much paper now but onto the computer i guess! hehe  
I hope it's enjoyable_

Disclaimer: Nowt is mine, as i own none of these characters or any of the concepts in their little worlds.

_________________________________________________________________________________

1. Why?

"Why's she doing that?" Gippal asked as he stared at the blonde thief and silver haired warrior across the room.

"Doing what?" Baralai couldn't quite figure out what on earth Gippal was staring at, let along talking about.

"That!….staring at my girlfriend! It's as if… as if she fancies her or something?" Gippal then stared at the priestling with wide eyes. "Do you think she does? Do you think Paine likes Rikku in that way?"

Snorting Baralai checked his friend was still sane! "Seriously? You really think that?"

"Well come on, that look she's giving her! That's a little odd isn't it – I mean girls don't look at each other like that!"

"But why on earth would she fancy Rikku, she's not a lesbian!" Baralai reasoned, "After all, you should know that with the amount of times you two got it together in the Squad!"

Gippal didn't look at all impressed with the Yevonite. "That doesn't mean anything! She could have just been experimenting!"

"And you were quick to lend a hand eh?"

"It meant nothing between us! I'm with Rikku now!"

"Yeah but do you want to be?"

With a look of disgust, Gippal shot down the idea of doubt quickly. Of course he did, he loved Rikku, everyone loved Rikku - she was fun and sweet and kind! Most guys wanted to be with her, she was one of those innocent but sexy types. He was always fighting guys off, almost like a big brother – he had always been more protective than her real brother anyway. Everyone had presumed that he and Rikku would end up together, ever since they were small when she followed him everywhere! They were inseparable.

"Then why are you so bothered about this? It's not like Rikku is gonna run off with her or anything – if either of them did swing that way then it wouldn't cause any trouble to your life!" Baralai explained as he filled up his drink from the table in front of them.

"Well it's not right is it? I have enough trouble with other guys but girls too? Especially Paine!" Gippal wouldn't be able to face the thought of Paine really fancying the other person in his relationship… because it wouldn't be him! Not that he'd ever admitted it to anyone, but Paine had meant a lot to him all those years ago. When he was young and actually a lot less experienced than he let on, he'd really fallen for the crimson eyed girl he'd spent all of his days and most of his nights with. There was something different about her, unique and refreshing. He still felt he needed that, he wasn't ready to just settle for what he was expected to. He wanted challenge and adventure, he wanted some mystery in his life – and Paine certainly was a mystery! As he observed the two girls across the room, he tried to depict their actions, the small movements between them and the glances Paine was giving Rikku. The thought that she could now prefer girls, it scared him – had he been any influence to this change? What if he was so ridiculous as a man he'd put her off them for life? Nah it couldn't be! He was Gippal; sex-god! Rikku certainly never complained – but then again had she ever been with anyone else? Seriously with anyone, except for him? He wasn't sure, if so she never said.

"It doesn't look as though she likes her much at all, if you ask me!" Baralai broke Gippal's thoughts, it appeared he'd also been studying them.

"Well what does it look like?" They must have looked strange, both men standing next to each other examining the girls like health inspectors scrutinising a dirty kitchen. Gippal's voice indicated the extent to which he was annoyed, whereas his face just showed his confusion. It bugged him that he didn't understand what was going on between the girl he was going out with and the girl he couldn't get out of his head.

"This is Paine; you know when she isn't fond of someone. I would have thought you'd recognise that more than anyone." Gippal didn't know what Baralai was getting at, but as though the white haired man had read his mind, he continued, "Paine looks just like you do."

"Excuse me?"

"She's jealous."

"How on earth can you tell that? And that makes no sense! I don't do that! And I'm not jealous!" Gippal protested but there were too many questions to mention without sounding desperate for information about the situation before them.

However, the psychic man answered the Al Bhed straightforwardly, "You both try and hide what you're feeling, and even though she says nothing and you say too much, the principle is the same – you don't want to be shown up. You can just tell from the way she keeps looking at her – it's not lust, it's nearer to anger or longing. A longing for something SHE doesn't have."

"What would she ever be jealous of Rikku for!? They are complete opposites."

"Exactly, Rikku has something Paine doesn't and as 'complete opposites' how does she ever stand a chance of getting what a girl like Rikku has?" Baralai raised his eyebrows at the blonde man next to him before turning around to the table again and greeting someone Gippal hadn't taken the time to notice.

Gippal wasn't sure of what that meant; Rikku had something Paine would want? Paine never wanted anything that had any association with Rikku, in fact anyone or anything that wasn't completely in line with her way of thinking, she didn't want! She had wanted him though, once, on Binkanel. She'd desperately whispered his name on several occasions and he'd been happy to give himself to her. He was perfectly happy to be hers if she wanted him. But now he didn't know what would make her happy, even satisfied! Then again, he shouldn't know, she wasn't his to make satisfied. He was supposed to make Rikku happy now, but she was never anything but that - so how could he do his job if it was permanently done for him? That was the problem, there was no excitement, she was always joyful and it bored him intensely. There was something fun about a miserable person every now and then; like Nooj – he loved that guy. He was fun to tease and so deep, Nooj was interesting, he had a story, and he had issues that made Gippal curious. Paine had that same effect on him – in fact she had a lot of effects on him! Effects he shouldn't be having and he certainly should not want to encourage.

Then before he even realised Rikku was calling to him, she had strode over to his side, her blonde hair swinging behind her and her tanned legs almost dancing beneath her body as she walked. She smiled as she began to give him a hug, and over her shoulder he looked at the other girl who it was clear was now giving the blonde a disgusted look. Catching her eye, they stood staring at one another. The distance between them felt like miles but they were looking into the other's eyes as if they were standing less than a metre apart! He shouldn't have liked feeling this connection with the warrior, more than hugging his girlfriend, but he did nonetheless.


	2. Chapter 2

_I still own absolutely nadda! =(_

____________________________

2. No can do.

"I can't pass that message on to Yuna, sorry."

"And just why not?" asked Paine, in no mood to mess around with his stupid games.

"Well, we're not exactly an item anymore and I don't want it to be awkward." Explained the young man.

"Since when?" Her crimson eyes stung into his soul, curious to find out what was going on.

"Since she told me she didn't feel it was working. I agree with her though, we fell out of love."

"Well that sure was quick." Quipped Paine.

"It lasted almost two years I'll have you know! I mean have you ever had a boyfriend for that long?" Tidus defended himself quickly, he wouldn't let this obnoxious woman get the better of him.

"I've never wanted a pointless relationship that makes your life more complex than it already is." She replied sharply.

"So you've never experienced the joys of being with someone."

"Not in the way you're talking – which is all long term waffle. I prefer short term snippets at this present stage in my life."

"You mean one night stands?" he quizzed sceptically.

"No, sometimes they can be a couple of day sittings or week long lay downs." Her tone implied this was the most normal thing in the world to do. And it took him by surprise. Never before had he met a woman who was so open about sleeping with random people because 'that's the way she liked it' – and he was beginning to find it attractive.

"Do you really just go around finding guys who you don't want as long term partners?"

"Well I don't purposely pick out ones I'm not compatible with; I pick out the ones that are good looking and preferably rich with an added bonus of being well endowed." It took him a minute to process what she'd just admitted. This was enough time for a wide smile to spread across her face indicating she was joking. "I just go with who I feel most attracted to."

"Oh. Fair enough."

"What? You got a problem with that? Don't tell me you've never slept with someone you've only just met?"

"Well of course, I just didn't realise you were that type." He admitted. He wasn't sure why he felt so nervous speaking to her about his past, it wasn't as if they were close and he needed to worry what she'd think.

"What type am I then?"

"You're er… well, y'know…" he scratched the back of his head, "One of those quiet, er… celibate types?"

"Thanks" she glared at him as her sarcastic tone implied she wasn't amused.

"I'm sorry. You've just never been very approachable. I guessed you'd carry that trait on into bed."

"You guessed? Like you had to think about it?" she asked, picking up on what seemed as though he'd thought about her… in bed… a lot. Well she was an attractive woman underneath all that leather (he was never into any of that stuff) and he was a guy - he figured it was natural to imagine how other people might be.

"No." he defended himself but he was probably fighting a losing battle. "Why would I?"

"You tell me."

Her red eyes looked straight at him, as if wondering what was going on in his head. Oh if only she knew. Now she'd brought it up, he couldn't stop picturing her. He hadn't broken up from Yuna more than a week ago and already he was fantasising about her friends between the sheets. What was wrong with him? "I'm gonna head out." He signalled to the door.

"Hold up Romeo." She commanded, "How long you been thinking about other women? When you were with Yuna?"

"Maybe"

"No wonder it didn't last."

"Excuse me."

"Hardly good boyfriend material if you were imagining other women when you have a girlfriend. Maybe it'll do you good being single for a while." She actually smiled at him, he was amazed. She was so volatile he didn't' understand her at all.

"It probably will. But it's not like I can go round finding many people to hook up with so soon?"

"What do you mean? Of course you can."

"Won't it seem odd if no less than a week later I'm already jumping into bed with others?"

"She dumped you; it will seem like recovery period." The crimson eyed girl explained.

"Maybe" he smiled at the ground before looking up at her, she was watching him almost expectantly. He just grinned, "I'm still not passing the message on though!"

____*____

The sun bounced off her eyelids and it stung like crazy! She hid underneath the blankets to protect her vision from blurring more than normal. The warm that was pressed up against her back sent a sharp pain throughout her whole body and guilt overcame her. What had she done?! WHO had she done? This was awful, completely, absolutely 100% BAD! She knew her morals need a good dusting through and re-organising but this? This was shameful beyond anything else. Even more so than the time she'd woken up next to a hypello with the worst hangover of her life! How would she ever face the world again, how would she face her friends, how would she even turn over! She wanted to be sick!

Taking a few deep breaths she began to roll onto her back – but she couldn't do it. She was scared. If she didn't see him, then it wouldn't confirm it, maybe it was a dream, an awful, horrible, but-oh-so-fun-at-the-time dream? No it was a CRAPPY dream! If she wasn't careful, she may start to hyperventilate, then he'd have to call an ambulance when she'd run out of air and then there was no alternative to letting everyone know. Then it would be front page news! Better calm down then. There was that sick feeling again, like all the bad things she'd done were creeping up her throat – determined to get out and tell the world. Gulping madly she sighed as she realised she was being stupid - he was a grown man, she was a grown woman, they were capable of making their own decisions. What was there to worry about?

"Paine?" his muffled voice came from behind her. She shuddered at the thought of him being so close. What was there to worry about? Er the fact he was her friends ex? Her friends' very new, if-he-was-a-cake-then-fresh-out-the-oven-ex! Squeezing her eyes shut she just wanted to forget it! As he called her name again she continued to think other things, 'shut up, shut up, shut up!' How she wished this would just go away. When he nudged her there was nothing else she could do really, turning and this time succeeding she stared up at his big, ocean blue eyes. "You ok?" he asked. Nodding was all she could muster. "I didn't mean to make this awkward... I don't know what came over me… I wasn't thinking, and I feel so shit right now because of it. But I would never…y'know…never sleep with a girlfriends mate normally – ex-girlfriend - whatever… I never thought I would anyway… and I promise I won't ever again! Not that you weren't good… you were! Just it's complicated… and I don't want to make this complicated…" As he stuttered meekly, Paine felt a sense of relief come over her. She wouldn't have to explain to him how she was feeling because he felt the same. Smiling as he continued, she let him go for just a bit longer, talking about how 'he'd never been a cheater and how he wasn't cheating but it felt like he was and now he wasn't sure and how he now realised he hadn't taken a breath in what felt like forever' and so on.

"You quite done?" she asked politely. Now he nodded. "Good." There was a silence filling the room as they stared at one another again. She'd never have thought Tidus would be one of those guys she'd get to know. She was willing to accept she'd never be close to him, but now she found it amusing how she'd gotten a little too close for comfort without even realising. "Shall we just say it was one of those mistakes, one that should never be repeated or brought up at friendly reunions for "fun". No one has to know and we can put it behind us – we don't need to be awkward. And if we want to avoid eye contact then it doesn't matter because we weren't that close anyway?"

Laughing at her suggestion, he agreed. How could she be so forward and calm? He'd been a stuttering idiot and she was just so cool!? Life wasn't fair. "Alright. I think that's for the best."

"Good." She sighed. "Just one more embarrassing thing before I go though -I need to find my clothes. Close you eyes?"

"Why bother? I've seen it all already." He chuckled.

"And was it how you "guessed"?" she quoted him.

He reached over behind him, and as he picked up what had been on the floor, placing it on the covers over her, he smiled. "Better. But you're not going to be hearing that again at any "friendly reunion for fun"!"

Looking down at what he'd placed on her, she saw a number of her garments. Smiling at his comment and his gesture she replied, "Thanks."

_x_


	3. Chapter 3

_Third chappie up... if anyone's reading that is! Thought i might as well finish regardless._

_Disclaimer__: It is much to my dismay that i do not own any of the characters (large etc) in this story, I'm merely messing around with them a little._

3. You what?!

"Rikku, do you ever feel that maybe, y'know people like you, when they shouldn't?" Gippal didn't mean to ask and especially not in such a stupid way. But her quizzical look informed him she didn't understand what he was talking about anyway. Trying to now take back what he said, he uttered "Never mind."  
"No. Go on! I'm curious now!" she smiled at him as she left what she was doing by the wardrobe and sat opposite Gippal on the bed, waiting for him to carry on.

Sighing he realised he'd done it now, why didn't he ever learn to just shut up? "I was just wondering, in case you ever felt like someone had feelings for you, feelings they shouldn't do because they are meant to be your friend – just your friend. I wanted to let you know you can tell me about it if you wanted to!"

"Who likes me as more than a friend?" she asked innocently, and then her face lit up with excitement. Too much excitement when she had a boyfriend if you asked Gippal. "Can I guess? Has someone said something?"

"No" Gippal shook his head as he knew what a challenge this would be to resolve.

"Is it..." she pondered over her friends and the thought of which one may possibly like her, "Buddy?" Gippal shook his head again, hoping it would be more noticed than his first attempt. "Oh. Well er... what about, hmmm… Baralai? I mean yeah he's a praetor and all but he's cute! Is it him, does he like me!?!"

Gippal coughed, "Excuse me? Boyfriend is sitting right here!" he pointed to himself.

"Oh yeah, sorry! Well don't worry I wouldn't go for him anyway."

"That's reassuring." Gippal felt a sarcastic moment coming on.

"Who else is there? Who's single? Who may like me?" Rikku was so preoccupied in her thoughts she basically ignored Gippal asking why she even cared?

"Could it be… Oh What about Tidus?"

"He's not single! He's going out with your cousin! Why on earth would you think of him? What's wrong with you girl, I swear it's not normal to pester your boyfriend about who else may or may not like you!" Gippal tutted loudly as he rolled his eyes at Rikku.

"I was only wondering! And you bought it up!" she whined. After a moment of them both sitting in silence, she asked, "Are you sure Tidus doesn't like me?"

"Rikku, I'm sure! He likes Yuna, well as far as I can tell."

"Yeah, I know." Rikku sighed as she got up again, leaving the man with an eye patch to wonder how sane this relationship was.

___*___

Tidus

"You what?!" she practically screeched. "Why? When? How come? All the details right now Mr!" in fact she now sounded almost excited, what was wrong with her?

"It just happened; it was the right time to end it." I told her truthfully.

She pouted, "But you were so cute together?"

"Yeah. I know" I sighed deeply into the empty glass I was holding out in front of me, as I peered into it at the few drops of liquid left over.

"Aww! That's so sad! Are you ok?" Rikku asked seeming genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm ok. Well kinda… I feel kinda shit but that's a different matter."

"Really? Why?"

"I can't say Rik'." I traced the rim of my glass as I stared at the table we were both sat at. Rikku and I had bumped into each other in town and were now seated at a quiet café not far from the docks, for lunch.

"You can't tell me?" she looked sad, "But I'm you're friend! You should be able to tell me Ti'"

"I did something bad and I don't want to talk about it, alright? Leave it please."

"Can't have been THAT bad!" she provoked gently.

"Sleeping with someone 2 days after breaking up with you girlfriend isn't

bad?" I confessed, but that was all I was going to let her know. I really shouldn't have said anything, I could sense this was not going to end well but it slipped out.

"Well…it's…erm…not brilliant…"she stared at the table and looked sad. Great, now she'd run and tell Yuna! Couldn't wait! "Who was she?" she asked this as if she was my ex… not my friend. I didn't understand her sometimes but I was grateful for the practice. Now I was ready for the horrific guilt I would feel if I ever really cheated on someone – happy days!

"No one Rik'."

"How could it have been NO ONE if you slept with them? For crying out loud!" she sat back in her chair, folded her arms and glared at me. What had I done wrong to her? Geez, someone was sensitive.

"She was just… this girl. I don't know what I was thinking. I was on the rebound." And that was just one of the great excuses she'd taught me after we'd got dressed and were ready to leave one another. Great now I was taking advice from a girl who enjoyed sleeping around – what was I turning into? "It didn't mean anything." Why was I explaining myself here?

"Oh." She sat solemnly. For about a minute anyway, I guess it was something like a lifetime to Rikku. "But why would you not go for someone you liked?"

"I did like her Rikku, just not in THAT way. Y'know, she was great for that night but I wouldn't want more right now. I only just broke up with Yuna about a week ago; geez let me have some time."

"Oh yeah." She looked down at the table, "I forgot. I just can't believe you would do that though."

"Why?" I asked

"I dunno…"she just shrugged.

"Rikku, what's up?" I nudged her arm gently

"Nothing."

"You sure?"

"Yeah… why wouldn't I be?" she queried.

"You don't seem your usual bubbly self." I explained

"I just… well… something's been playing on my mind but I don't know who to turn to for advice."

"What about me?" I suggested

Rikku didn't say anything but continued to look at the table between us instead, she sighed deeply a few times and then announced, "I'm not sure if I'm compatible with Gippal anymore."

"YOU what?" I stared at her stunned, "Seriously? But you're Rikku and Gippal! The magnificent Al Bhed Duo who conquered Spira and gave Al Bhed's their new image. Aren't you?"

"Well, yeah. It's just that… I don't know." She sighed again and I didn't think it was possible to get sighs so heavy after her previous ones. I could tell this had been on her mind for a while. I watched her as she began to trace the swirls and patterns on the table in front of us, then she looked up at me again, "I just feel like, well, he's just so big!" her exclamation took me back and I stared at her inquisitively. "No not like that you pervert! He's just such a big figurehead! You know?"

"Aren't you both big figureheads? After all you did save Spira… twice!"

"Yes, but with him- I'm even bigger! And sometimes you don't want to get bigger! You want to just be you! I don't feel like he appreciates me anymore! I know it sounds silly but I always feel like we're together just for the sake of our image. There's no real chemistry now; I'm not even sure if there really ever was."

"Wow, it sure never seems that way. How long have you felt like this?"

Rikku looked nervous, "A while…"

"A while? Well let's just hope it's not a long while eh?"

"Almost 2 years! Since we've been together!" Rikku blurted out. "It's felt like this from the start, I mean sure we've had our fun times and I love him to bits, but more like a brother. A brother, Tidus, Oh my Yevon I love him like a brother that's so wrong. And I'm pretty sure he feels it too. He's never there; even when he's right by me, his mind is somewhere else. And I guess to be fair, so is mine. How can you go on being with someone who you're not into? I'm pretty sure he likes someone else, and if he did I'd love it."

"Why?" I managed to ask her quickly as she carried on.

"It's because, well… I don't want to be the one to finish it. Because I like being with someone and not being with him means I'm not with anyone."

"There are loads of other people who you can be with Rikku." I explained

"But I don't want just anyone, I want someone in particular, and I can't have that someone because they're tak- They just don't feel the same way." She looked sad, almost close to tears. I put my hand over hers and stroked her arm gently. "I don't know why I can't just be happy with what I have? But I don't want Gippal, Tidus! I want someone else and that's another reason this can't work with us. I should break it off! I'm going to do it soon. I'll have to, I can't live a lie, because it's not fair to either of us. But how? What am I going to do?!"

"Well can't you tell this other person?" I asked, hoping I would make it easier for her.  
"Not really. I mean I couldn't, there was a time I may have been able to tell them, but I'm pretty sure I've missed it now. It would be awkward"

"It's never too late."

"But what if it ruins all I thought I had? I don't want to mess my life up Ti', my life is good!"

"Depends if they're worth the risk?" I looked straight at her, "I say live for the moment, and they aren't gonna be offended that a gorgeous girl like you wants them are they? Just trust me."

Nodding slowly, she took a deep breath, "You're right, I should just go for it.

But how do you know when the time's right to say?" I looked away and had to say, I had no idea, it wasn't something you could theorise, it just was! I shrugged gently before looking back up at her but this time noticed there was a different glint in her eyes. "I just want to clear all this up, I don't care who knows the truth. Tidus, I really like you!"

What she said, well 'took me by surprise' was a serious understatement! Why? How? I couldn't figure it out. I don't know why I'd never noticed it more; I stared at her blankly for what felt like forever as I repeated her sentence in my head. She liked **me**, she really liked **me**. I gawped like a fish for a moment before stuttering. I wanted to tell her what was going through my mind, but I didn't even know. I guess yeah I liked her too, but I never really thought of it as anything, I'd liked her all that time ago as guardians, and when we first met in those ruins. But now I couldn't think, did I like her, was I willing to give her a go? Did I even deserve too? Why had I not seen this coming!?! I wanted to tell her thank you, yet as I opened my mouth to explain to her all my thoughts, I was shocked to hear what actually came out of my lips. "I slept with Paine!"

_X Thank you for taking the time to read. X_


	4. Chapter 4

_Guten Tag! How's it going? So you've stumbled onto the firth instalment of my rambling... i apologize! =D Actually I thank you and encourage you to read on... if you dare!  
Ok that's enough out of me, i hope you don't think this story is too dire, but if you do in fact have some opinion (even bad) of it, then feel free to leave me a comment._

_  
Disclaimer: Did you know I don't own any of Square Enix's creations? Its a sad truth but probably for the best._

4. You haven't changed

Walking along the high street at a vigorously fast pace I wasn't exactly expecting to bump into someone but it's funny how mishaps can completely change the course of your day. I was anxious to get to the bank before it closed but when I saw her I completely forgot about money and needing to get it paid in. I just stared down at her as she stared up to me. And after stuttering for what felt like forever, I finally managed to say hello.

"Yeah, hi." She greeted back, giving a small snirk, one that would have gone unnoticed if one was not aware of what to look for.

"How are you?" I asked, I hadn't talked to her properly in, well ages.

"Good. Yourself?"

"Great. How long's it been since we last saw each other?"

"A week?" she said almost sarcastically

"No I meant, y'know, actually talked." I tried to think myself but I couldn't. "I remember talking just after Rikku and I got together"  
"That was the last time." She nodded

"Oh, how long's that been?"

"Almost two years." She stated calmly. She wasn't at all flustered by our abrupt meeting, whereas I felt completely confused. I thought I must look ridiculous, standing like a stuttering moron, probably sweating too. I was nervous talking to her – it was stupid really. This was Paine.

"Geez, we really should've caught up more often." She just nodded at my suggestion. "Do you… wanna, like… go get a coffee now? Or are you busy, I completely understand if you have somewhere you need to go."

"No," she said quietly, "A coffee sounds nice."

We sat tucked together in the corner of the little, old café not far from the main square. It was cosy in here and I desperately needed to get some more layers off but I was worried I would make a fool of myself by just stripping off. I was heating up dramatically though.

"It's warm in here." She stated as she pulled off a thin jumper and threw it on top of her black bag on the floor.

I chuckled, and began to pull my first top off – I don't know why I insisted on wearing so many layers. "You read my mind." I smiled at her. When I finally adjusted my clothes so I was comfortable I looked back up at her. She was always so serene and so perfect – but it wasn't like she tried. I think it was more the fact that she never made an effort yet still looked great that made me so attracted to her, and the fact that she was hot. "What's been going on with you then? Two years I can't believe it." I sighed.

"Yeah, it's pretty careless of us to leave it so long." I nodded in agreement as I watched her take a sip from her mug. "I haven't been doing anything out of the ordinary. Just living I guess." She replied without giving any feeling to her words. Why did she always do that? Make you drag conversation about herself out of her, like drawing blood from a stone.

"You haven't changed." I commented

"Neither have you." She looked up into my eye - green meeting red - before continuing, "I swear, looking at you now, it's just like looking at you right back in the squad." Saying this, she took my mind back to that time. Those days of laughter and nights of lust – I wanted them now and I hated the fact I just couldn't. "What happened to us?"

I shook my head. I had no idea – my guess was as good as anyone's. What had happened – had we just lost it? Or had she swung the other way? No, Nooj and Shuyin had happened – they stopped it all. What would we have been like if none of that had happened? If we'd been allowed to go on as planned; to run into the wilderness and take each day as it came. Where would we be now if we hadn't been separated? "I miss it."

"The four of us were good." She agreed. I only wish it had stayed that way – good. I regretted so much and this wasn't how I wanted life to be, it shouldn't be this full of remorse. "How are you and Rikku?" Paine asked suddenly. Had she not heard what happened?

"Er, we broke up." I stated, surprised she didn't know.

There was a very long pause as neither of us remarked on my current circumstance. "Sorry." I could finally hear her whisper.

"Don't be. She broke up with me but I was asking for it. I was bored of it all, both of us were – wasn't working out."

"But you seemed so happy." Paine stated her observation cautiously.

"Did we? I sure didn't think so. To me it felt like...it had gone sour. I was sure it showed. Neither of us was that interested in it anyway so it had to happen eventually." I explained quickly.

"You two always seemed picture perfect." The warrior spoke dryly as she sat across from me.

"How you figure that?"

She looked at me with an expression that asked 'why did she need to explain.'. But she continued regardless when I didn't respond. "You were so suited, just everything looked so right."

"Looks can be deceiving." I remarked quickly. "You of all people would know that surely." I watched as the crimson eyed woman took this in and slowly nodded her agreement once again.

"Of course they can." She spoke calmly. "But I don't think my looks are really that deceiving. Do you?"

"I think they used to be." I replied not really thinking about my words. I was instead occupied with how my opinion of her had changed. I still liked her but I swear I never used to feel this anxious in her company.

"Are you saying I'm even more of a crazy bitch now?" she looked amused as I struggled to answer her. I didn't really know what I'd meant by saying that – it just came out. "C'mon then Gippal. What's so different about me now days?"

"I don't really know, I guess..."

"What?" she pushed me again, there was a sly grin on her lips so slight it was almost hiding, and her tone was so soft it sounded like a angel flirting with me.

"You never used to bat for the other team." I had no idea why this came into my head, I hadn't meant to say it, I really hadn't. I felt my whole reason for being fade away as a cringed. What did it matter if she did like girls anyway? It's just I couldn't stop thinking about her and the way she acted around Rikku – Rikku was attractive so it wasn't impossible for her to feel that way.

"What?" Paine repeated, but for a different reason now.

"I just meant… that-"

"Oh save your breath Gippal!" she ordered me, before glaring across the table – her heavy lashes framing the fury in her eyes. What had I unleashed? "Why would what I wear and how I look like lead you to that assumption? Are you really so shallow that you judge people by the material of their clothes and the way they style their hair?" she scoffed continuing, "That's so pathetic it's untrue, I would never have believed it if I hadn't heard it directly from your mouth. I thought you knew me, or have you been so blinded by Rikku's dizziness than you don't even remember you have other friends? Bloody outrageous! How the hell did you even come up with that? I don't swing for the other side or bat for the other team or whatever else you feel like calling it. I'm not into girls and you should damn well know that from everything that's happened! Why would you even think that?" I couldn't answer her - I just shrugged my shoulders. People at a nearby table were starting to stare at us but luckily the café was almost empty so they were probably the only ones really being disturbed by her anger. "What Gippal!? Just tell me for the love of Yevon, what makes you think I could ever like girls?"

"It's the way you look at them." She sat back, startled, as I explained and really wished I hadn't the need to. "Ok well the way you look at Rikku. You always do this thing, it looks like you just want her, need her – a longing I guess. I thought it was because you fancied her. It disturbed me because I had never realised that about you – I had never taken the time to consider you may actually like women. I thought… well I thought a lot of things."

"All of them wrong no doubt." She said stormily but at least her moodiness meant she was no longer on the verge of shouting the café down.

"I'm hoping so." I admitted now that she was quite persistent in that she had no liking for women.

"I didn't realise I looked at Rikku that way." I looked up when she said this, her tone was a lot more calm than I had expected it to be; she was thinking and her brow was knotted. "Or at least I never thought it could be seen so easily on my face." I listened as the red eyed women allowed her thoughts to come out of her head – an occasion very rare indeed.

"So you do look at her a different way?" I asked

"Not in the way you seem to think, but I guess yes. I do feel something different to what I feel to Yuna and LeBlanc and other women."

"But you're not a lesbian?" I queried again

Glowering at me one more time, and Paine let out a small laugh. "No, not at all."

"Well then, what do you feel? You can tell me."

"I'm really not so sure I can." She sighed as she spun the coins from her change on the table in front of us.

We watched as they spun in circles around each other, then when the last one finally collapsed I picked it up between my fingers and attempted the same trick as she just tried. When it was successfully spinning fast again I spoke softly, "I am positive you can tell me." Looking up I saw she was staring straight back and our eyes met. To break the tension I smiled before saying, "You can definitely tell me what you feel for Rikku if I can tell you I think you fancy her."

Sighing as if she'd been beaten, Paine leaned a little bit further forwards, "I'm not attracted to her; I'm envious of her." I lifted my eyebrow, what she was saying corresponded with what Baralai had said, and that got my mind questioning again. "I'm envious because she has you…or rather had you."

"I don't get it." My brain was puzzled and I had too many questions whirring through to really register what she said.

Paine looked away from me, away from everything really, her head was directed at the floor but even her eyelids were firmly shut – it would have taken a long time to prise those open again quickly. "I haven't stopped loving you."

"You loved me in the first place?" I suddenly asked like an idiot.

"Oh Gippal why can you never read between the lines!?" she groaned. "Has nothing I've ever done made you think I could feel that way about you? I can't believe you've been that oblivious? No scrap that, i can believe it."

I stuttered, "I guess… well… m- maybe I have been." I kept thinking and thinking, searching my memory for anything she'd ever done to show her affection!

I thought back to the squad and now I could hear her – her words from back then. Nights when we'd enjoyed each others company and I had lazily begun drifting off to sleep. That was when she'd always talked to me – told me her secrets – but I'd always been too sleepy to respond, to really take it in. Now I thought back to remember and I could hear the things she said most often; "**I wouldn't ever just go with anyone Gippal, you know that don't you? You do mean a lot to me, even when I don't show it.**" I always murmured that I was listening but I never took it to mean anything. Just like I never thought she meant it when she had whispered, "**You mean the world to me**"**. **She had never said anything that had rung immediate alarm bells. If she had said "Gippal I love you more than anything else" then maybe I could have woken up to it sooner. But I hadn't and now I felt like an idiot. However, I knew I was a right prat but inside of my very core I was ecstatic. She loved me – ME – and not Rikku! I hadn't turned her off men and she loved me!

"I should go." I hadn't noticed how long I'd sat there not saying anything, I'd left her to feel rejected but I'd never intended to. As she stood and grabbed her bag, I reached out to her but she brushed my hand off, I was barely sure she even registered it had been there.

"Paine?" I wasn't sure where she intended to go, so I quickly grabbed my things and followed her as she hastily made her way to the exit. I called out to her again as I reached the door but she didn't stop, she just carried on as she started down the quiet street. "Paine! Where are you going?" I ran after her along the pavement; she walked so bloody fast just a second of me pausing let her escape much more than it should have done. "I'm sorry, I hadn't finished. I was thinking! You can't blame a guy for thinking can you?"

"I'm not blaming you for anything Gippal. I'm just getting on with my life. Just like I have been doing for the past four years." As she said this loudly enough so I could hear all the way back down the street, it cut into my heart. I was wasting my time messing around with Rikku, both of us knew it was never going to last – we are too similar it would have sent us crazy. But all that time I could have spent it with Paine, she was who I'd been thinking about when I knew it was wrong. She was the one who I really wished I could be with but I had believed that she didn't like me back. The thing was she did like me back, she always had. But how was I supposed to know that? I'm not telepathic!

"How was I ever supposed to tell that you felt that way Paine? You were so closed these past two years, ever since I saw you again after Vegnagun you not once let on how you felt! You didn't give me any clues!!" I called out to her.

At this she abruptly stopped but didn't turn. I was thankful though because it gave me time to catch up. Panting when I reached her I took a moment to gain my breath. I stayed behind her, looking down at her bare shoulders; her skin always looked so soft, so kissable. Her head tilted slightly towards me – it was almost insignificant but I could tell she was registering my close proximity. "How did you expect me to know you hadn't changed your feelings?"

"You said it yourself – you weren't even aware I had those feelings to start with."

She was right, I never believed she loved me, "But I always hoped."

Turning just enough to look toward me she laughed coldly, "Why?"

Smiling I said "You mean the world to me." As her eyebrows rose in astonishment at the fact that I could even bother to remember anything she had once said, I leaned swiftly down towards her. Pushing her arm gently so her body was parallel and facing mine, I then took her face in my hands before she could say anything. Bending my head down to hers I tipped her face up to mine, when she opened her mouth to –what I presumed was – protest I quickly covered it with my own. Her lips were dry but I didn't care, I traced her bottom lip before slipping my tongue between them both. For a while she didn't move at all and I was beginning to think I should prepare myself for a good slap right across the cheek. I was about to start wincing in anticipation when Paine reached up and put a hand behind my head locking my jaw to hers. Slowly she grazed my lips with her teeth and I felt a shudder jolt through me, which led me to realise her other hand was placed on my back, holding my torso pinned against her body. It had been over 4 years since I'd last been anywhere near her lips yet I felt so natural. It didn't feel at all awkward – not like it did when Rikku and I had started going out again; we'd grown up so much that it took time to readjust to one another. Now though, here with Paine I could have been sixteen again, I didn't feel any different.

I unhurriedly parted my lips from the soft ones that I had enjoyed being attached too, only to move them to her jaw line. Massaging her skin with my mouth I gradually worked my way down to her smooth collar bone and on to her fair shoulders. Her nails scratched gently at my top, every now and then digging into the skin at my shoulder blades. Nuzzled again against her neck, I whispered, "I haven't stopped loving you either."

_X If you got this far then i send you a large large thank you for reading and a big hug! X_


End file.
